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 ♥ R FOR REBECCA A little bit of narcissism won't hurt, and vanity isn't a sin. Email: rebeccaa.-@hotmail.com  Tagboard
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Saturday, July 7, 2007
I've deleted the previous entry and decided to type a new one. Its gonna be long, so feel free to read it if you want. Yea, its about him again. And i think and i seriously hope this would the last time that i'll be talking about him in my blog. I am mentally tired. No words could describe how i feel. I've enough for your sweet promises, saying you will treat me right. Its all rubbish! And i told myself not to trust your words anymore, but everytime i failed just because i love you and i gave you one chance after another. Those long messages i send to you, i doubt you will ever understand how i feel and what i really want. You always say you understand, but you never do. And in return, you say i don't trust you. Pardon me, you teach me how to trust you when you make yourself not trustable?!! Did someone ever taught you what is trust? Love is a two way traffic. It can't be that im the only one who's always compromising and i don't reap what i sow. I can give you what you want, then what about me? Selfish love! I don't know why am i still clinging on to this useless and stupid love. Tell me i am the stupidiest girl down on earth, Slap me. I don't mind. I was chatting with wanxiang yesterday's night. And she really amazed me by the words she said. She told me she would give in everything and anything to gain back the love she's always longing for. Be it the person timer her or say straight at her face, telling her he don't love her anymore, she would still persist on. Cos she believe what she sacrifice, the guy will see it and know it one fine day. And hopefully would treat her good forever. I say its such a mighty love but she say its very stupid. But yet she told me to persist on. I guess i'll never be like her. I really think its way too much and perhaps i would have to let go to prevent another heartbreak. Its very hard but please give me time. Sighs. Honey is right. I can't be a chaser for his life. I can never catch up with him. And i am sick of running about, getting so damn worn out and get nothing back in return. Its really useless and its a wasting of my own time. But please give me more time, its hard but i know and i know i'll have to let go for good. I guess there's nothing much left to say. He say we need time to relax and think through then we'll get back together again. I don't know why do i have to go through this part when all along i did the right thing, i had never once betray your love I don't know why i have to suffer for your sake, for the wrong things you've done. Its so UNFAIR! Anyway, i guess its all over. It doesnt matter much to me if one day we can get back together again. Cos i knew the same thing will happen again. I am very sure. So i told him i'll stop talking and asking about our stuff. I don't wish to talk about it anymore. Just leave the pieces when you go and i'll swollow them bits by bits. I can't deny the fact that i still love you and i still miss you like fuck, but still i have to go. Goodbye. This song on my blog describe my feelings now. It's just too little too late. Game over dude! |
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永遠の愛
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